So today several amusing things happened to me. The highlight of which is that after heading out of the hospital after two great lectures, I lost my car. And, in searching for it, I hit and bruised my head on a sign for attending physicians only.
All the other snaffoos of the day seem anticlimactic after that but I’ll list them anyway. It started off with one of patients grabbing my hand to check for a wedding ring and deciding that he likes thick girls and asking for my number every two seconds. Did I mention he has like…5 teeth? And did I mention that my new attending insists on rectal exams for every patient?
Snaffoo number 2: I managed to cut my own arm with my own nail and was bleeding out in the middle of lecture until the Chair of our department gave me a bandaid.
Snaffoo number 3 was the head hitting and car losing.
So end out the hilarity that has been this day. I am watching wipeout- which I think is the best show ever.
Rando side note about this- I think I’ve truly moved past all my predjudices because I am NOT rooting for the Black girl. She’s just annoying. Don’t front Black people like you didnt root for the Black people on GUTS back in the day, or any other game show! How the hell we could win the olympics, but always lose to the megamountain thingy spewing glitter was beyond me.
And to end on a serious note: because working in a hospital is some serious shyt sometimes, and you need to recharge at the end of the day. I’m falling asleep to KD Lang singing Cohen’s “Hallelujah”. Somehow I moved from Diamonds and Pearls to this and got wrapped up in the beauty of this singer, singing this song.
I joke a lot about life because so much of it is truly funny, but a lot is my morbid humor covering serious shyt just to keep me functional. You wouldn’t believe the things doctors say in hospitals but when such a huge percent of your patients are dying, you start to laugh to keep from crying. You dwell on the fact that your 43yr old patient with no teeth is hitting on you and ignore the fact that he’ll probably die of heart disease or diabetic complications within a few years. You spend your time in ethics meetings wondering if the daughter of your patient has implants rather than focusing on the fact that her mother is going to die, slowly, of pneumonia and is vegetative. You ignore the hope that family has for a miracle because you can’t afford to hope with them. Hope, it seems, in the medical profession, is a dicey thing. 1 miracle for every thousand heartbreaks will have you burnt out and considering working for the pharmaceuticals in no time. So you write orders and do exams and laugh at a lot of people behind their backs all day. And you fall asleep to “Hallelujah” at night. Gotta go to bed. I need to save someone- to save myself-tomorrow.