So plenty of things have happened since I last wrote. I think, after the last- I started writing things I don’t want shared with the world: my instincts for self-preservation are strong. But given that I still wrote- on progress notes and the backs of reciepts, on the notes app on my phone and in the notebook where I write my patient’s histories- I feel like I’m only giving part of myself to this endeavor. And I don’t truly believe, not really, in only partly giving myself to anything. So I need to get this bit on how I’m feeling out now- and I’ll add in the last week of my life over the next few days.
I’m going to un password protect myself.
I’m going to be vulnerable (oh man I can’t beleive I just wrote that down)
I’m going to be hella brave n ish
crucify or praise and your leisure
I do care
But as I stated when I started this- this is for me, and I was never one to test the water before diving in.
So- Yalie and I are mothering ourselves via google-talk right now. I’m singing “Long as you know, that, I can have any man I want to baby thats actual and its factual”. I told her-” remember the confidence we used to sing that with when we were little girls- time to get bk to basics!”