The things we say behind your back

So while you’re on call, and sleep deprived, and annoyed, and cracking up all at the same time- all types of things that would normally stay in your head come out of your mouth- here are a few.

Nurse in the ER: “Sometimes I get a little reckless with the truth”- at 3:35 am

Me in the ER: Now I’m nuzzling my chin into my own breasts; mothering myself. I didn’t even mean that as a joke. I’m tired, I’m comfy, and I want my mommy.

My Intern says she’ll kick me down the stairs on Monday if I leave early. She can’t do it in the morning because of the Sabbath. She is only joking…

Me: The patient seems totally with it on her mini- mental status exam, except she says the president is Carver. In my mind, this pulls dementia right back to the top of our problem list. A Black older woman who doesn’t know who the president is?- Apparently all of the above is unprofessional to say outloud.

Me at 4:47am: I was trying to hum “Done made my vow to the Lord and I won’t turn baaaaaaack” and I ended up with “Make way for Price Ali”- from Aladdin. This entire scene was preceeded by my intern singing “Jesus is on the main line” and me replying- well since we’re missing church anyway…

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