Bowchicawowwowdrought

So originally this post was supposed to be various stories about the bowchicawowowdrought from my girls. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, sound it out. However, upon asking for stories I was then asked for mine and then Vday came up and then somehow it all got turned on it’s head and I ended up with this post. This is not a disclaimer, more of a prologue. Enjoy the vinnettes. Everything is juxtaposed with everything else. I write stream of thought- and my thoughts are only tangentially organized.

So firstly, bc this part is funny even though it’s not in chronoclogical order, I am apparently a 2/10 on a mushiness scale from 1-10. 10 being the best. Mind you, even using the word mushiness instead of saying romantic or sweet or any other term that doesn’t sound so derogatory is proof in and of itself that I am a mushiness FAIL. In either case, in order to work on my mushiness ( ok first I need to stop saying mushy), I decided to google being more romantic. This is not because I actually need to google it ( I would never admit to being that lame) but because a friend of mine introduced me to this site http://lmgtfy.com/ Don’t bother clicking on it (now I know you’re going to anyway) It’s not as fun as you think it will be. I was expecting to get ludicrous answers and fun websites but alas…I got this Personalized Romatic Gifts for Men. To which my girl Christin exclaims “15$ for red hots?!” and I’m stuck with this visualization of men in satin drawers…the things we focus on.

Side note: do NOT google that on your own. All the links that pop up link to other pop ups that wont come off your desktop and could lead to some rough explanations at work if you know what I mean.

And you see, I just watched Hitch in all its clichéd glory yesterday, all my patients were suicidal after valentine’s day all of last week (I’m on a psychiatry rotation in the emergency room), and then this foolishness. So I’m postponing the romanticness ( sp? word? what the hell is the real word? romanticity? oh wait…it’s just plain old romance lol) romance. Instead we’re moving to a thread one of my girls started on facebook. It started with fun pole dancing/lap dancing if you don’t wanna literally break your a$$ songs/playlists and has somehow moved to bitter valentines day posts. So here’s the collection of bowchicawowwowdrought stories, thoughts and comments. Feel free to leave your own. Coincidentally- this is probably related to that 2/10 ranking :/

So for those of you with petrifying condoms ( u like that double entendre?) in your bedside drawers: I dedicate this story to you (Other stories, when i get permission from their authors, will be forthcoming).

Thread: What did you do for Vday?

Title: No country for deserted coochie

Short story:

Well the Yoruba coochie whisperer apparently couldn’t handle all this woman and broke plans with me moments b4 we were sposed to meet and informed me he only wanted to hang out in groups. So I had nasty red velvet cupcakes, pizza, Dexter DVDs and Shiraz bubbly to myself. No it was not spent accordingly lol

I should have watched porn instead

-yep that’s the whole story and if you aren’t laughing at references to a yoruba coochie whisperer you might just fail as a person, in general even.

And back to me being a romantic FAIL: Oh don’t cry for me Argentina! I know what I’ma do to expose my soft underbelly ( oh my sarcastic defense walls are STRONG today…smh). But I’ll still take all the suggestions you have, and bad Vday stories, and bowchicawowowdrought stories, and of course, critiques!!!

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