The practice of writing thank you notes goes a long way in reminding you how loved and appreciated you are. I usually hate writing thank you notes, especially the old fashion kind. You have to go out and buy stationary and hand-write everything in pen. You have to buy stamps and head to the post office because the drop box is no longer just down the street from my house. You have to put in the same amount of effort all these nice people put in to wishing you well, or sending you gifts, or just saying hello. I didnt ask for these notes. I don’t really know half of these people well. Some of them have not included their blasted address because they handed me the thank you notes in person and no one has included their email address so I can be lazy and holler at an e-card.
Writing these thank you notes has been a lesson in patience, an exercise in love. A tribute to a set of values many in my generation have lost; how to show appreciation for those who care about you. And since I’m in the particular place of having to lean so heavily on those who care about me, and since I’m usually on the feeling unappreciated side of things myself- I needed to write these thank you notes.
Yesterday summed up all the different types of friends I have, and need to have in 4 separate conversations; one with someone who is not so much a friend (yet) that basically served to highlight why the other three are such good friends. First I had lunch with someone I’ve known since the first grade. And we met, after several cell phone calls and general confusion, in the middle of San Francisco: she ran down the street to see me. Long limbs, colorful scarves and all. I don’t think I’ve seen someone run to meet me in like, forever. There was a moment there where I wondered if I should brace myself, she is a foot taller than me…but she’s also a foot less wide so no need. The ‘run and hug’ was executed perfectly; giggling ensued; I missed that girl. We talked and ranted and laughed and lunched, and shopped the day away.
Later, via my normal means of communication: gChat, another of my friends was checking up on plans we made last week. Mind you I thought these plans were supposed to be for today but who cares. Mind you she asked me a question, I poured my heart out, and then had to leave without getting a response but who cares. She tots might have listened, or might have been busy with something else and will read it later but who cares. She asked about me, and asked the right questions, and I am secure enough in our friendship to require no response to know that she is there.
And Lastly, I got told off by my little sister…which is a bit of a running theme in my life. I can laugh about it now, it was totally deserved. She is one of those friends who will tell you if you look fat in that dress. But she will also proceed to go get you a dress you look amazing in. And then you will be chastised for not thinking you look amazing: because she does, she sees you. She sees me, and all of my many varied issues and loves me for them and with them, rather than in spite of them.
I’m at the phase of chastisement for not seeing my own beauty, sometimes. It’s taken me 20 years of poor fashion choices- from 4th-6th grade where I refused to wear color and stole my dad’s oversized flannel tshirts and wore men’s carpenter pants to school. Now that sounds a bit ridiculous. Why does Gap even make carpenter pants a normal sized 5th grade girl can fit? Then I would only wear lime-green. I had lime-green dresses, the lime-green old navy puff coat, lime-green jeans for Christsake!!! I wore, for a special day, actually for the first friend’s birthday party an outfit that consisted of said lime-green jeans, lime-green and navy blue platform heels, a white middrift sleeveless top from starter that had starter written on it in lime-green, and a short-sleeved white button down polyester blouse with various shapes on it in blue, purple, and limegreen, worn open ( to reveal said mid drift obviously). Man I don’t even know if I can continue with the fashion fo paux ( yes I had to look up how to spell that) at this point. Suffice it to say, I went through a period of growth to get where I am now.
So now the task is seeing my own beauty, remembering my own worth, and the only people you can have around you when you are in that space of in-between are the ones who love you, and the ones who show it. And if you care to keep them around, if for no other reason than because undoubtably you will go through another period like this later in life…you should perhaps consider, writing some thank you notes.