Its amazing how monumental momenst in my life can go comepletely unrecognized by others. And that this ability- ours ability to be present in our lives, is what allows for it to happen. No judgement, this is not negative- this is just how life is. Im walking out of this hospital forever today. I’ve lived and loved here. I’ve laughed and cried here. I have pushed myself to and past all notions of the limits I have here. And I m walking away. Not quitting mind you, but moving on. Because this phase is finished. Medical school- is over. And no one seems to notice. There is no pomp and circumstance, no trumpets sound as I leave everything I have known for the past four years.
Odd, as i was so excited to be heading onwards and upwards…or sideways- that I would feel nostalgia now. That I would look at these trees shading me as I run and belabor the vast, unending yellowness that is Los Angeles. That I would miss the clear starlit nights on patios of cheap bars in target sundresses rather than envy the purple haze of the LA skyline- made beautiful by all that is unnatural.
I will miss the ease of listening to gospel music on the radio. Of All my friends reminding me to go to church, of easter sunday dress shopping as the norm- rather than the absurd in your late 20s.
I will miss north carolina barbecue. Which makes me chuckle because the first time I saw it I told the international students I was hanging out with that I thought it was chicken salad gone bad due to being outside in this heat.
I will miss the heat, the warm summer nights where everything seems to be stuck together. where we laugh at the clearly out of place yankees wearing allthe colors that make your sweaty arms, back, neck stand out. I’ll miss that moment where you walk into target, or the mall, and are staggered by the relief air conditioning brings.
I wrote this when I knew I would miss…shudders…my carolina Girls. Born and bred California- but Sweet Caroline, oh oh oh.