Pleasure…and Punctuation

“I’m kind of tired of being conflicted about pleasure” Yalie always has such prophetic things to say in such a mundane tone. Or at least I imagine it’s a mundane tone since we are invariably talking via gchat.

Side note about gchat, and any other sort of newfangled means of communication: someone needs to come up with a set of commonly agreed upon rules of etiquette. I say this mostly because I feel like I am the only one in the world who bothers with saying bye on gchat- or via txt. When I say brb I don’t mean tomorrow. Then again- if I say lol after a long pause, in all likelihood I am actually not laughing- but filling in the awkward gap of silence with something. I am also not a fan of the gratuitous punctuation and smiley faces. My Ex has a whole shower curtain of newfangled smiley faces! Including (((0))) (Oh! for a surprised face) and 😕 ( for huh?). I feel like these are the types of smiley faces that require explanation. At that point, what is the purpose of the smiley face in general? Getting back to the gratuitous punctuation marks, I am beginning to get irritated by the overuse of the exclamation point. I feel like everyone and their mom’s dog are constantly excited about nothing. And then I find myself exclaiming everything back! It’s like talking to people whose eyebrows are waxed too high- you find yourself raising your eyebrows just to go with the flow and getting surprised about perfunctory statements.

This side note is beginning to take a while- and I find that while I could go on and on about how my generation including myself, is unable to have any sort of meaningful conversation in person- like- with other people, the first sentence about pleasure is probably what hooked you, and is considerably more interesting than my beef with communication foibles.

Pleasure is becoming a tricky thing, especially the older I get. I’m constantly excusing myself, and others shirking their pleasure duties ( I was getting ready to censor out this post- and try and make it about yoga, but let’s be real- I did not write that sentence thinking about yoga).

Oh this post is beginning to sound a lot like a new years resolution- and in a bit of a smirky-evil grin rubbing my hands together kind of way. It’s sounding mischevious almost, decadent, to spend a whole resolution on just pleasuring yourself- on loving yourself, and concentrating on yourself only. I’m almost afraid to say it- but I started out this post the same way I’m going to finish it: I’m sick of being conflicted about pleasure- so I won’t be anymore”. – Add gratuitous exclamation points at your leasure ; )

For some odd reason I’m remembering that I started out this blog loving lists, and one seems in order now

On my Pleasure Principles ( sing it like Janet!)

1) Touch, especially the warm lingering ones that move you straight from over-analysis to “yummy goodness I could sink myself into this touch”

2) Romance novels and good tea. Lord a good book and some honey can get you through any man troubles there are

3) My girls- including my momma and my sister and everyone in between

4) My boys- Steve Harvey tots has a point about creating the perfect one from a bunch of fools that don’t quite come up to scratch but until they make the everlasting D battery that can also put up new light fixtures- we ladies are going to have to deal

5) Cooking- which reminds me, I need to bake some mac n cheese and pumpkin bread tomorrow

6) Good Red wine

7) My hair, and my skin and that’s bringing me back to warm touches again

feel free to share your lists, your resolutions, your grievances with punctuation!

Brown Skin

The adventures in the vajazzling chronicles continue- well only kinda given that once again- there was no actual vajazzling involved. And good news folks! I finally found an American who can do it right at About Face and Body and the Americans use gloves! Side note- lemme know why the more recent Ex just had a debate with me about buying a used bed because it was on discount- which makes me very concerned about what I’ve been sleeping on for the past year and a half. I told him, ” Some things, like wine and condoms, you just don’t skimp on”. Which brings me back- I like a full circle, to the vajazzling.

This entry has been written in pieces over the past couple of days- so my thoughts aren’t exactly in chronological order. Also, I’m currently watching the Raiders game so I might punctuate my comments with waxing poetic about Calvin Johnson and crying about why Ndamukong Suh isn’t playing the way I want him to. So the week began with some questionable decision-making skills. And while I’m completely comfortable putting all of my business out there in an effort to remain open at the close of this year, I’m reluctant to talk about everyone else involved ( clearly my girls just need to make a phone call to get the deets…and jason…and jordan). In looking back, they’ve led to me to the new new years resolution- which shall be revealed…on New years.

Over the past few months, I’ve been all over the place with my confidence ( I promise this relates back to the waxing). As much as I’ve received clarity and piece of mind with my career, I’ve gone up, down and sideways with how I feel about my personal decision-making skills. From staying away from cheese ( “big ups to white people for taking cheese to the next level” – Fred Ousley) and trying to get back in shape to questionable travel plans made earlier this year; I’ve had quite a few moments that could have benefitted from some stat IV Prozac. I had most definitely gotten to the point where I was not going out without spanx or control-topped tights, heels at least 5″ high, eyebrows, nails, toes, makeup…done. It had been one of those weeks where you seriously consider punching anyone who even looks sideways at your tummy. But somehow, between being surrounded by old friends, and by making new ones ; ) , I’m starting to remember how to ‘kiss my own shoulders’- chinaka hodge. The combination of all the salt rub downs by my fellow women, and all the other rub downs done by…others – my skin is glowing again, and I am loving it.

All the waxing and ( Janikowski is insane!!!!!) the 8 and a half years it takes to do my hair and the tylenol I’m stocking up on because those fake nails hurt like hell the first day- I’m starting to actually believe- ONLY I CARE ABOUT! and while I could lie and say I’m going to granola it on out and stop…( GO RAIDERS!!! poor stafford) I actually like all these little things- bring on the living social mani-pedi deals!

One last thing- I’m one of those who goes to a california black church – Imani. Today, after the Black history moment, and looking up to see the First lady in her beautiful Red locks, I looked around and fell back in love with all the curly haired babies, and multicolored locks, and ( I might have to change my mine about this fool if he doesn’t stop clowning on my niners!) down at my own skin, covering all these extra curves I didn’t have in high school and smiled. I’m still smiling, and humming in my head “Brown Skin”.

If there’s ever been a time where you needed a hug, and got it- (or needed some Prozac and got it), if there’s ever been a time where you lost yourself- and got it back- Comment! ( Holy shyt calvin johnson!!! marry me now)